Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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