oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
