we have officially lost it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
