My first STD was from a foam party
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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