this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
