i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
