I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
