google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
