In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
