I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
