just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
