So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
