Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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