Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
