hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
