Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
