So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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