I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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