Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
