he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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