4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You can't motorboat a personality
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
