her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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