evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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