bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
