belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize