you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
