I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
