He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
