I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
