If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
