For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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