I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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