what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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