Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
