I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
