I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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