How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
