He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
