That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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