did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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