He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I could fuck to npr.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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