The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
