I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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