She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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