And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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