have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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