I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
