All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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