I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
