he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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