I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
