All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
