my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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