Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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