It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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