My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
