What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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