Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
