if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
