Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
