dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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