Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
