I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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