He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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