So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
