I think scott just propositioned me for sex
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
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U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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