P.S. I can't hear my feet
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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