She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
